Sunday, July 7, 2013

Debunking Pretty Much All Theories on Onision

Let me first clarify that I DO NOT like Onision. I think that Onision is an insufferable, instigating, nonsensical  babbling idiot. You know what? I'm tired of seeing "Onision" get underlined in red every time I type it, so I'm going to just call him "Greg". Okay? 

So the reason why I am making this is because Greg has received a lot of flak. A lot of this flak is from people like MrRepzion, a guy who has become a rather self-righteous, stuck up, faggot, as well as from people who simply don't know what the fuck they're talking about. However, some of this flak is also from people like undertakerfreak and someguy827 who are albeit very smart people, and they are way, way, way better at video blogging than I, and I am amazed by how they can just talk and talk with such composure, without jump cutting, contradicting themselves, or stuttering. So for that reason, I will be taking this one on my blog, so that way I can display all my thoughts by typing. 

So some of the accusations are that he is a narcissist, a pedophile, and a sociopath. I will go ahead and straight up say that NONE of these with exception of being a sociopath are true. Although I strongly believe that he does not have a narcissistic personality, he has displayed some rather narcissistic conduct. The accusations that he is a pedophile and sociopath are simply founded on incorrect terminology. 

According to psychiatric classification, a pedophile is someone over the age of 16 who is attracted exclusively to prepubescent, and it must either cause themselves emotional distress, or result in sexual conduct with children 11 and under. It is also noted that like homosexuality, pedophilia is not a choice, it is still classified as a mental disorder, because it can be potentially harmful to others. Now that is quite different from marrying people who are of legal age, isn't it? As for sexual attraction towards teenagers and young adults, that is very normal, especially in males. However, sexual or inappropriate conduct between a minor and an adult is of course illegal, and such conduct is avoided by most people. Now am I saying that it is okay for Greg to be marrying people who are 18 and 19 when he is in his mid to early 20s? Well, there is nothing inherently wrong with that, because 18 and 19 are just numbers, but it is still rather sketchy, and it suggests that he chooses people of this age so that it will be easy for him to make them financially and emotionally dependent on him. 

Also, there is also the accusation that he is a sociopath. A sociopath is someone with anti-social personality disorder, which is a form of psychopathy. A sociopath is completely self-motivated, and feels no empathy and sees no importance in the wants and needs of others, and they will often step on others to get what they want. Such conduct has been seen by, Greg, so depending on your definition, you may call him a sociopath. However, I myself would not call him a sociopath, and I do not think that he would be diagnosed with anti-social personality disorder. The terms, "sociopath" and "psychopath" are often used interchangeably. A psychopath will be also be fearless and impulsive. A psychopath will have no conscience and will never feel sad, or depressed, and they will never feel remorse or regret, and they are very good at lying, trickery, and using people. And that, is not very much like Greg.

There's also the allegation that he is a narcissist, but I will get to that later. I believe that Greg, while he is not a sociopath, I think he very likely has Borderline Personality Disorder. I also believe that MrRepzion's ex-girlfriend likely had the same condition, but much like Greg, she was never diagnosed. While Greg has not gotten a clinical diagnosis because he has refused clinical help, he did at one point self-diagnose himself with BPD, but he later refuted it, because he was no longer concerned about his mental health. BPD involves very stubborn, black and white thinking, but it also involves very intense emotions, both good and bad. So when in a relationship, they will see the significant other as the best person in the world, however they will be very much afraid of losing that wonderful person whom they love to death, and they will take abusive measures to prevent that, but by doing so, will often do the exact opposite. Anakin Skywalker is used as an example by many highschool teachers, and even college professors to explain BPD.

Now back to the allegation that he is a narcissist. Someone with a narcissistic personality is obsessed with themselves, and will naturally have very high self-esteem. BPD however also involves unstable sense of self-esteem. Greg himself claims to not have very high self-esteem. However, one time Greg also said that "I am a great person", and sweet-innocent-nonjudgmental MrRepzion of course took that the wrong way and used that as evidence that he is a narcissist. I think that the reason why Greg said that is because he wants to reassure himself because he probably questions all the time if whether or not he is a good person. Now, while Greg is not a narcissist, he has showed some rather narcissistic conduct, but I think that he just uses that as a way of coping with his own insecurities.  

So, that took me some time to type up, and I hope what I had to say was informative and made sense. Now,  of course, while I've given a reason for all of the things that he does, that does not really justify the things that he's done. However, he has improved significantly as of late, and it's too soon to say if his new marriage will last, but they seem to get along pretty well. I have heard from some sources that he is rather controlling of her. I'd say those are old habits, and hopefully they will pass. 

Still though, the fact remains that he is a stuck up, nonsensical, babbling idiot, and for that reason, I still kind of dislike him, but I don't hate him, and I do in fact feel sorry for him. Trust me, BPD is a living hell. The suicide rate for people with BPD is like fucking 9%. So I believe that concludes everything, have a good night. 
         

Sunday, January 6, 2013

You're Psychopathic

So, this is a blog response to a video that I made called "You're Pyschopathic" If by a small chance, you came across this blog, but yet you haven't seen the video, here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-TJZ-PLhr8&feature=youtu.be

The reason that I'm making this blog response is that in the video, I pretty much was just talking fast and not making sense. So, I thought that I could probably make a more articulate, clear idea on what my thoughts are, and how I'm feeling.

Basically, I've been told that psychologically, what is happening to me is that I am progressing rapidly in intelligence and maturity, but while my intelligence is 95 percentile for my age group, my coping skills are pretty much the same as the average 16 year old. As a result, I "think too much", and I frequently become very sad, depressed, angry, or agitated.

Now for one off topic thing, which I might make a video about: "Maturity". Now, since this is going to be a long paragraph and doesn't pertain too much to the overall message, you may go ahead and skip this paragraph and you should be able to understand the rest of this post. So, I am commonly told that I am in fact not maturing faster, but maturing slower because I have a childish sense of humor and a whole bunch of other bullshit. Another thing that I am told is to "Act my age". So despite me being 95 percentile of my age group in terms of intelligence, and despite me not being an overly hormonal teenager, I am immature? That always pisses me right the fuck off. This is because ignorant statements and assumptions and commands and insults towards me based upon these false assumptions about me, I find them to be a lot more annoying than valid decent criticism. So again, the more flamboyant, childish personality, that results from my ADHD, that is why people often make these assumptions, and with that said, I shouldn't blame them for making these assumptions. The thing is though that when I am told either to "Act your age." or that "You're immature.", I become very defensive and angry. I don't always express it though.

So, here's the thing though, I am autistic, and I don't have very good social skills. I'd say that along with my ADHD, I also have Aspergers, as well as a speech impediment. As a result, I don't have many friends. What especially troubles me is that I don't have a girlfriend. When I see people who are unintelligent, and are total jerks, but have good social skills, and as a result, they have lots of friends and potentially a girlfriend, I get really jealous. I feel that they don't deserve the friends as much when they don't care about anyone including the girlfriend.

I think I see a lot of these kind of people at my school. That is, people who have good social skills and lots of friends, but are not in any way good people. I think the reason is simply because, some people develop different things at different rates. I myself will not develop any more socially, and I will have to learn new social skills. In fact mentally, I may only develop in terms of judgement, and stuff that usually develop in a male's 20s.

So, what I do differently: I try to be nice to people, I try to help people who potentially are depressed like me, and try to help people feel more appreciated and loved. But, it seems though that no one really seems to have these kind of problems. That, and my kind of efforts to be a good person kind of go unrecognized, simply because I am impatient and I lack good social skills.

So, I guess before I conclude, I should go on to the topic of the girlfriend. So, I often feel really sad, and lonely and stuff. And considerable evidence suggests that not having a girlfriend is a huge factor. So in other words, I want a girlfriend because of the aspect of mutual exchange of emotions and stuff. It's hard to put into words what it is that I look for in a girl and the things I feel. And also, my overall sex drive while it was once rather high, is now almost completely tamed.

So, that concludes this post. Also, for people who kind of can relate to the things I said, my Skype name is reznov.rulz if you need someone to talk to. However, you probably won't get to talk to me unless you message me on YouTube first. I'm not always on Skype.

Update

So, I guess I didn't really focus much on the topic. The topic being psychopathy existing in the average person. So, what I think is that a lot of people these days logically are psychopaths. They don't so much try to understand other people by anticipating the other persons emotions based upon prior knowledge and relativity to self, but they more act upon people based upon observed external actions of other people and the mannerisms and the 'body language' of other people and all that bull shit.

The way I see it, most people don't see others as people, they see them as objects who can manipulate their emotions. Well, I suppose that's not how most people see it and interpret themselves, because to be fair, the average person can't analyze fucking shit, but that's the way I observe them acting and my point of view on it. I don't always however dislike these kinds of people. And these people can change.

Monday, December 31, 2012

My Battlefield 4 Wishlist!

So, Battlefield 3 was pretty damn good. True, some might say that it was an EA ploy to steal Call of Duty fanboys from Activision, as many of the new aspects make it more CoD player friendly. I myself think that Battlefield 3 was kind of it's own beast, and it's okay that they made it easily adaptable for Call of Duty players because well, I played Call of Duty first, and I don't think BF3 would've been as good if it were like the Bad Company series.

Now, before I talk about Battlefield 4, I suppose I'll discuss some criticisms that "Battlefield Veterans" have. So, a lot of Battlefield veterans say that it was far too chaotic and disorderly. They also say that they miss the 6 player squads and the chain of command that was featured in Battlefield 2, that and a better list of voice commands and in game voice chat, oh and moddability. Players know how they want to play the game, so why not give them the freedom to customize the game in a creative way, but not of course in a way that allows self advantage in public/private and dedicated servers without owner permission (aimbot, no clip, etc.).

Now, while I haven't played Battlefield 2, the 6 player squads, the chain of command and the amount of team work involved, they sound really cool to me. It think that these beloved features from Battlefield 2 should be revived in Battlefield 4. Now, many would argue that EA is a very cock blocking publisher when it comes to development of a good game. In other words, they would supposedly want to not encourage team play, and to continue it as a Call of Duty clone.

I myself think that this kind of attitude is highly cynical. I think that there should be two separate game types for multiplayer: competitive, and teamplay. Competitive is more like Call of Duty where players are encouraged to fight over whose a more boss player, and to run off and play lone wolf rather than sticking with the team. Team play however should be like Battlefield 2 and should allow 6 player squads, and chain of command.

So, back to the idea that EA would want to restrict DICE's creative abilities in order to make a more CoD friendly game. Why would EA want to appeal only to former Call of Duty fanboys when they could simultaneously design Battlefield 4 to appeal to the Battlefield Veterans as well?

Another thing that I want in Battlefield 4: BETTER MAPS. In Battlefield 3, there's two kinds of basic map types. Kinds with really broad fields and no places to take cover, and there's the kind with small alleyways, and hallways that can potentially turn into choke points. Now while I despise of the flat oversized maps, I do kind of like the kind that develop choke points. I think it's a lot of fun for both teams to huddle up in one small place and then proceed to continuously sissy slap eachover until the game ends. But, I think that there should still be maps that do not develop choke points, and that do not have long drawn out areas where you can be shot at from all sides or just get ass raped by enemy vehicles.

So, here's the thing that I like about Battlefield 3:
I am willing to wait patiently for Battlefield 4. It's not like Modern Warfare 2 or Modern Warfare 3 where you are so sick of the shitty game that you can't wait for the next one. I love Battlefield 3, all despite it's faults. It is a GREAT game. Comment on this thread and share your thoughts. I want the best and only the best from Battlefield 4 because there is so little in Battlefield 3 that needs to be fixed or changed in Battlefield 4.

Here's the original post on the battle log forums http://battlelog.battlefield.com/bf3/forum/threadview/2832654490109487945/

Monday, November 12, 2012

Lethal Tactics

I'm actually working on a game with some people right now. I'll give more info later. Here's their twitter though. https://twitter.com/LTactics

Day of Defeat: Source, My Review

So, a friend gave me DoD as a gift. Here's my opinions on it. Just to kinda make sure I don't neglect the blog. Also, most of this is from what was originally two messages that I sent to someone on YouTube.

How is DoD good? I found the bad balance between different aspects of realism hurt the gameplay a lot. First off, the recoil while more realistic than most games is greatly exaggerated. Realistic recoil would be acceptable given that it only takes 2-3 shots to kill someone with most automatic weapons. I remember one time I found a guy laying down on a table when I walked into a house. I shot him three times with my BAR as he lay there, but he survived, and the recoil prevented me from hitting him again. He then killed me soon after. Such bullshit I found is a frequent occurrence. True I should have taken my finger off the trigger and then take aim again rather than just holding down the trigger until empty, but either way, he should have been dead.

Oh and the muzzle climb for the heavy MGs when not on a bipod is absolutely ridiculous in this game. How could the recoil possibly be powerful enough that it would bring such a big heavy gun over your head? I felt at first that I was being knit picky, but these problems are too severe. It's even worse than MW3, because in MW3 at least your guns don't go out of control, and enemies go down in a few shots. 

 
I feel kinda bad a friend gave DoD to me as a gift, I was thinking, "Hey more stuff for Gmod, and it looks like it'll be a WW2 version of Counter-Strike, me want". Now Counter-Strike is a good game because it's simple and it doesn't try to be very realistic. It's gunplay and mechanics are simple, fast paced and awesome (one thing that pisses me off about CS:S is how OP the flashbangs are though). This is also the reason why CoD4 was so awesome, it's gunplay and controls were so easy to learn, so simple, but yet they allowed you to do so many complex sophisticated maneuvers. In comparison to other games of the time, CoD 4's playability and gunplay were both golden, even if the recoil for full automatic weapons were really dumbed down in CoD 4. That's why everyone loved it.

So, yes it is good that they tried something different from Counter-Strike. But couldn't they have at least played it themselves to see how well the game plays? If they had such tight deadlines and budget, they shouldn't have even tried the realism and they should have just made it a WW2 CS:S clone and it would have been great and they would have a lot less wasted effort.

And the reason why I am pissed about MW3 and DoD is that my expectations for them were not even that high. For MW3 I thought that it would be a MW2 clone and all, but what they had before was good, so if they get rid of OP guns and quick scoping and focus more on gunplay and game modes, rather than vehicles and killstreaks, then they have themselves a great game. But despite my low expectations, it still went way below what I expected. And for what was once the best game series ever, they should have had better standards.

As for DoD, again same thing. I thought, this is going to be a CS:S clone, there's nothing that could be wrong with that. You didn't have to pay for it, chillax have the fun that your friend would have wanted. Even if it's not going to be the same as CS:S, it was Valve who made it. They made such a variety of games that play so differently on the same engine, but yet they are all good in their own way. Nothing to worry about. Let's go! DoD time!

Nope.avi


So in DoD, if other players have to play with these bad shooting mechanics too, how come they are able to just completely make me their bitch? Why is it not like in MW3 where no matter how good or bad you play, the game just sometimes lets you win and sometimes lets you lose? My theory? It's because the other people who played it are veterans at the game. So they know how to play with these bad shooting mechanics. So in this sense, it is better than MW3 because skill actually does something for you. But the learning curve that it has is too much when everyone there is pro at the game. Yeah there's kind of a learning curve to Counter-Strike too, not so much in gunplay and controls, in fact both are incredibly easy to learn. It's more in how you should enter a building with bad guys, and how to "stick together team". And you have to adjust your skill level to compete with the CS veterans, most of which are now playing CS:GO, now us noobs are now either playing CS:GO on console, or playing CS:S still. The adaptability for noobs in what is still a very merciless and unforgiving game, that's what made CS:S good. That's why I like it.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Future computer

So, I have my laptop which isn't that good, and our desktop which I share with my little brother.  I'm just going to let him keep the desktop once I build my own custom computer.  Here are the parts that I'll be getting:


(1) $484 Zotac GeForce GTX 680  Graphics card - 2 GB - GDDR5 SDRAM


(1) S89.99 Seagate Barracuda Green ST1500DL003 1.5TB 5900 RPM 64MB Cache SATA 6.0Gb/s 3.5" Internal Hard Drive -Bare Drive
http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16822148725

Total: $1168

Problem is, that I won't have that kind of money for another year.  Also, I asked a friend of mine if it would be a good idea to assemble all the part and put them in a well ventilated Tupperware container with fans. He said no.  So, that's why I'm buying a clear plastic case.